A Miracle

A Miracle happened, and I can't believe it.  You are alive, you are well, you are free from the prison of your mind.  It hurt me when I first saw you.  The scars that marred your beautiful golden skin.  It hurt me even worse the way you treated me.  As a causal aquaintince, I know I hurt you.  If only you knew the pain I felt over this.  I died the day I found out.  The subsequent months I have been trying to put the pieces back together.  You are alive, you are well and this fact helps me to keep going.  You called me the other day, "I have missed that voice."  If only you knew I hear your voice in my dreams, it surrounds me and fills be and makes me whole.  You are coming back, you want to see me.  Will you be mine again?  I do not know, but the fact that you are fine, you are normal is all I need.  Our bright future is become clearer and I know with time maybe, just maybe, we can reclaim our lost selves.

Moving on

I'll never forget you, what we lost. Yet, the time has come for me to move on, you will always have a piece of my heart. You are getting well they say, you can talk and walk now. My prayers were answered and now it is time for me to let go, to say goodbye. I hope that you are happy, that you live a full life. I'll miss you but the fact that you are alive and well makes this bearable...so goodbye my love, I'll try my best to get over you.

Trying

Finally some of my prayers were answered. There is a spark behind your eyes now. You laughed, you cried, you spoke. I wish I could have been there to seen it. Nevertheless this knowledge has made me happy. Maybe now I can move on. How do you move on? I don't know I can't figure it our, but I am trying. Everyday I try to push you to the back of my mind, but you always come find me. You are always there. I Love you, I can't help it, and this fact is what is making trying to get over you impossible. If only you knew, and even if you did would things be different? I don't think that they would. You were the one that got away, the fact that I can't even me there to comfort you kills me. Will this ache ever go away? I think these things just get easier with time.

I walked away

I walked away from you, I left your question unanswered. This is the greatest mistake of my life, I wish I would have told you I loved you, I want to be with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I WAS SCARED.....I walked away. I didn't look back and this fact is killing me. It kills me that you didn't know, that I didn't tell you. Please don't die, don't die without knowing. I am filled with regret, with remorse for what I did. Please forgive me, my love I would give anything to relive that day. I was wrong, and I would give anything to spend just one more day with you.

Still Praying

The days have turned into weeks and still there is no change. You lay there unmoving unhealed. When will you be better? I pray for you constantly and beg God for a miracle. I beg him to return you to me, but now I am wondering if my prayer will go unanswered. When will my tears stop falling, when will you no longer haunt me? I am beginning to think I will never find joy again. I don't know how I can. You made me happier then I have ever been, and I thank you for that. I truly thought you were the one, and I still do. I have now lost you twice, and the bright hope of our future grows dimmer with each passing day. Will this light burn out? I pray to God that it doesn't and you will awake from this nightmare to reignight the flame. I am sorry I didn't realize how wonderful everything was when it was still mine, I didn't truly apppreciate it and I am sorry. Please return to me so we can go on again, so that the rest of my life is not filled with regret. Awake.....and liberate me.

Unseen

Your eyes opened and that brought such joy to my heart, but that joy has now turned to pain. You stare up into nothing. You can't see me with those unseeing eyes of yours. You eyes have a haunted look and I pray that you are not reliving that horrible night over and over. I wish I could just go back and save you from this horrible fate, protect you. I am angry that you didn't keep your promise. I looked into your face as you laughed and said you wouldn't go, I knew you were lying but I didn't want to believe it. Time without you passes slowly, as much as I try to stay busy I still find myself dwelling on you. I swear I see you everywhere, you are haunting me. I walk in a daze and when anyone says the word Happy I cringe......that word belongs to you. It has a new meaning for me now. I am fearful that you will never be the same, that you will always stare up with those unseeing eyes. When will you see me again? I beg it is not in the next life after we pass on. My memories of you can't conceive that fate.

Two Weeks

It has now been to weeks since the accident, and I still can't move on. The very thought of you makes me happy and sad at the same time. Remembering your smile brings me to tears and once again I am filled with regret. It hurts so much that I often forget to breath and each day I have to force myself to get up and go on living. You opened your eyes yesterday they said, for the first time in two weeks. This small feat filled me with such joy, the fact that maybe there is some hope after all. That is the first time I have truly smiled in awhile. I dream of you and the life we might have had, sometimes I think I can really feel your arms around me. I wander if in your deep slumber you are dreaming of me too. I wish they would let me see you, they say you can recognize voices, would you remember mine, If I finally told you I love you would you hear and remember. I am trying to go on and live my life without you in it, and I discovered that I can. Yet, I don't like it as much and when I remember my old life I just want to travel back and reclaim it. I miss you, return to me, smile at me again...........I'll see you in my dreams.